Immortal Love
by Emlyn
Summary: Chihiro can't let her memories of Haku go.... Will they meet again like Haku promised her? A songfic to Evanescence's "My Immortal".


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[A/N: I slightly altered the words -- switched some pronouns around, that's all -- to fit the story better. "My Immortal" is by Evanescence, from the album "Fallen". 

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Chihiro sat on the back porch of her house, her legs dangling between the wooden supports of the railing. She looke downward pensively at the small trickling stream below . . . remembering . . . 

It was a couple years after Chihiro had left the spirit world, but she could not forget it. In fact, every day she grew older, the more vivid the memories became, and the more her maturing heart yearned for Haku. 

Maybe it would have been easier if he hadn't made that pormise . . . the promise that they would meet again. Maybe if this little brook wasn't near her houes, she would have been able to put the spirit world at the back of her mind . . . but as it was . . . 

((Are you coming for me?)) Chihiro thought. ((Are you trying to find me? Or am I supposed to find you?)) 

_I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
If you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave  
Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone_

The little river continued to make trickling noises. ((I don't know what to do,)) Chihiro thought. Tears fell, mixed with the water below as her heart cried out, ((Haku . . . I'm lost without you.)) 

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase_

Chihiro cried silently as the memories played in her mind's eye _You cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears  
You'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears_

-- feeding the dragon the gift from the polluted river spirit, holding him as he thrashed, flinging blood against the wall -- 

_I held your hand through all of these years  
You still held on me_

-- his hands clasping hers, their foreheads together as they flew through the evening air. "You did it, Chihiro! You remembered my name!"; Chihiro crying with happiness -- 

Too much. . . . It was too much. Her heart full, Chihiro grabbed the porch railing and dropped herself to the ground a few feet below. She stepped carefully to the bank of the stream and knelt. One arm hugged her knees to her chest, and her free hand, trembling, touched the water. ((Are you there, Haku? Can you feel me?)) 

She needed to see him so badly, needed his voice and his caring, gentle embrace and his beautiful gray eyes, shimmering with deep expression at her. 

_You used to captivate me by your resonating light  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
Your face it holds my once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me_

A leaf in the stream floated and came to a halt against Chihiro's hand. She looked at it. ((is that you? Pleas let it be you, you promised me . . . you promised . . .)) _These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase  
I'd cry, you'd wipe away all of my tears_

-- Chihiro huddling, sobbing, Haky feeding her, his arm around her shoulders -- 

_I'd scream, you'd fight away all of my fears  
You held my hand through all of these years  
I still held on you_

What if he never came back? What if Chihiro spent the rest of her life, waitig, searching, needing his love, and he never returned to her? ((Please, no . . . please, no . . .)) 

Suddenly, the river was changing. It was moving faster and though Chihiro hadn't moved her hand, the water was now well past her wrist -- the little river was growing! 

She put her other hand in, and felt something like electricity shoot through her. 

"Haku! Haku, it's you!" Chihiro cried out. 

And she felt him, felt his presense in the water, felt his thoughts and feelings. 

((I'm here, Chihiro. It's me.)) 

The water around her hand became warm, and a small wave rose in the shape of a hand and clasped her fingers. Chihiro, now crying with happiness, said excitedly, "It's you! You've come for me! Get up! Come out of the water!" 

((I can't . . . I can't, Chihiro. Yubaba freed me from the spirit world, let me resume my true shape my true life.)) 

Her heart falling, she stopped, and took her hand out of the water. "This is it, then? You can't . . . be like me?" 

((No, Chihiro.)) 

From the porch above her mother was calling, "Come in, Chihiro, it's time for dinner!" 

"Haku . . ." Chihiro put her hands in the water again. "I want you to be human." 

((I can't. I'm sorry . . . go to your mother, Chihiro. I will always be here, forever, in this little stream. You can talk to me, can't you? You can feel me, can't you?)) 

"Haku?" 

((Yes?)) 

"I love you . . ." 

((I love you, Chihiro. . . . Now go, and I'll be here when you return, and eternally after.)) 

Chihiro stood up and went into the house. 

So she couldn't be with him. She couldn't have him. 

But she would always have his friendship -- she'd always have his love, in the little river behind her house. 

_I try so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
And though you're still with me  
I'll be alone all along . . ._


End file.
